lament

The problem is when you start questioning your existence. Like, do you really deserve to wake up everyday?

Never before has life seemed so futile. I remember since I was little, I was this annoying girl, questioning everything; the universe, our existence, our purpose in life. There would be long nights where these thoughts would torture my little mind. I’ve always had trouble finding meaning in life. Not THE meaning of life, I couldn’t care less about that; I don’t even think such a thing exists. Just some meaning. I’ve tried love, I’ve tried friendship; they have both failed to keep me interested. 

Love...People always talk about love. They claim that it is the most important of all. Something you can’t live without. Silly people. Of course you can. Except you are not really alive.

So what else is there? Is it possible that I like… nothing? I’ve never really solved this problem of mine. I always make sure I keep myself occupied so I don’t have to think about this. Because there are really no answers. And that is something I will never make amends with.

Ashley